PRETORIA, South Africa -- His voice shaking, Oscar Pistorius took the witness stand Monday for the first time, testifying that he was trying to protect the girlfriend he killed and that he became so tormented by memories of the fatal shooting and panic attacks that he once hid helplessly in a closet. Pistorius also offered an apology to the family of Reeva Steenkamp, who died from multiple wounds after the double-amputee runner shot her through a closed toilet door last year in his home. He said he mistook Steenkamp for an intruder. Prosecutors allege he killed her after an argument. "There hasnt been a moment since this tragedy happened that I havent thought about your family," the athlete said at the murder trial as Steenkamps mother, June, looked impassively at him in the courtroom. "I was simply trying to protect Reeva. I can promise that when she went to bed that night she felt loved," Pistorius said. Pistorius display of anguish and remorse was a marked departure from the testimony of some prosecution witnesses whose accounts painted a picture of the runner as a hothead with a jealous streak, an inflated sense of entitlement and an obsession with guns in the months before he killed Steenkamp, a 29-year-old model. He has yet to be cross-examined about the shooting in the early hours of Feb. 14, 2013, and that testimony is likely to be the centerpiece of a trial being broadcast on television and followed around the world. Pistorius was charged with premeditated murder and faces 25 years to life in prison if convicted. Some analysts think the judge, who will decide the case, will consider a lesser charge such as homicide, which could still send him to prison for years. Pistorius, 27, spoke in a soft, quavering voice at the start of his testimony, forcing Judge Thokozile Masipa to ask him to speak more loudly. He stood at first, stifling sobs as he said he was on antidepressant medication and sometimes woke from nightmares to the "smell of blood." Defence lawyer Barry Roux, who had aggressively challenged prosecution witnesses since the trial began March 3, led Pistorius gently through events in a life that was held up, in the runners heyday, as an inspiring tale. Pistorius was born without fibula bones because of a congenital defect, and his legs were amputated when he was 11 months old. He ran on carbon-fiber blades and is a multiple Paralympic medallist . He also competed at the London Olympics but didnt win a medal. Pistorius described the positive role of his mother, Sheila, and his grief when she died when Pistorius was a teenager. He spoke about the sacrifices he had made for his athletic achievements, his work with charity and how religion was important to him. Pistorius said he has been taking antidepressant medication since the week after he killed Steenkamp and has trouble sleeping. He described one night when he went to hide in a closet after waking up in "a panic." "I climbed into a cupboard and I phoned my sister to come and sit by me, which she did for a while," Pistorius said. His voice broke again, and he struggled to speak when he described how Steenkamp was "a blessing" in his life. Yet in cellphone messages revealed by the prosecution, Steenkamp had once said that Pistorius scared her. Pistorius will return Tuesday to continue testifying after the judge granted an early adjournment because she said Pistorius looked "exhausted." Pistorius said he had not slept the night before. "Im just very tired at the moment .... I think its a lot of things going through my mind," he said. "The weight of this is extremely overbearing." Pistorius also described how he felt vulnerable to crime, an attempt to explain his claim that he reacted to what he thought was a dangerous intruder in his bathroom by shooting with his 9 mm pistol. He said his mother slept with a gun under a pillow, and that his family had been hit by house break-ins and carjackings over the years. He said he had sometimes been followed by unidentified people while driving home. Pistorius also referred to an incident in which he was allegedly assaulted at a social function in late 2012 and had to have stitches on the back of his head. Prosecutors have provided a contrasting picture with evidence indicating that he had been reckless with firearms in public, allegedly shooting his gun out of a sunroof on a road and asking a friend to take the blame for him when a gun was fired under a table in a busy restaurant weeks before he killed Steenkamp. 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Sweezy was the one part of the Seattle Seahawks offensive line that had avoided injuries or having to change positions this season.JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- Rookie quarterback Blake Bortles has a number of things to work on before training camp. His contract is no longer on the list. Bortles, the first quarterback taken in last months NFL draft, signed a four-year deal worth more than $20.6 million Wednesday. The third overall selection, Bortles signed the fully guaranteed contract before the second day of a mandatory, three-day minicamp. Bortles received a $13.3 million signing bonus. The Jaguars got a team option for a fifth year. "I never thought about, I need to sign. I cant wait to sign. I need to hurry up to sign," Bortles said. "It is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, signing your first NFL contract. So that was something thats cool and Ill cherish forever. But its definitely in the past and forgotten about in my mind." With Bortles under contract, the Jaguars have two unsigned draft picks -- second-round receivers Marqise Lee and Allen Robinson. The team hopes to sign both by the end of the week. Bortles has been up and down during organized team activities, about what the Jaguars expected when they drafted him and planned to let him watch and learn in 2014 and take over next season. He continues to tweak his mechanics, mostly footwork, and his performances reflect that hes a work in progress. "Theres a lot to correct," Bortles said. "There are things that Im not doing well right now. But Im not worrying about it because Im trying to fix something else. It is a process. Its something that were working on thats going to take a while." Bortles played in a spread offence at UCF, rarely lining up under centre, so thats been a change. The biggest challenge has been getting his feet properly aligned.dddddddddddd Hes accurate throwing to his left, but still has a tendency to step forward when throwing to his right. And its really affected his deep balls, which have fluttered and floated during OTAs and minicamp. "Youve got to make the stuff muscle-memory because what Ive been doing for 22 years isnt the right way," Bortles said. "But thats what Im used to doing, so Ive got to fix it. Its got to take time." The Jaguars arent worried. They drafted Bortles with an eye on the future. Jacksonville re-signed veteran Chad Henne and named him the starter even before selecting Bortles, and insist the plan is to hold the rookie until hes ready -- even if that means making him the backup until 2015. "Sometimes theres anxiety and sometimes hes pressing and trying to do too many things," coach Gus Bradley said. "Were just watching that and hell work through that. Some of the things he has to work through and he will." Bortles started 30 games at UCF before declaring for the NFL draft following his junior season. He went 22-5 as a starter, throwing for 7,598 yards with 56 touchdowns and 19 interceptions. He also ran for 561 yards and 15 scores. He realizes the transition from college star to NFL starter will take time and patience. "It was the same thing freshman year of college, so youre just starting all over again," Bortles said. "Its just everybodys bigger, stronger and faster. Youre going through the same thing. Youre learning the new playbook, youre meeting new people and you have different challenges. Youve got to be able to have that quarterback amnesia and move past things." ' ' '